The worlds of popular music and sport collided like tectonic plates yesterday, as Top of the Pops was mounted against the backdrop of Piedmont mountains near Turin, home of the Winter Olympics 2006. The momentous occasion was marked with such pithy dialogue as this:-
Fearne Cotton: So that was the Sugababes, the all-NEW Sugababes (cheeky grin), with 'Push the Button'
Sue Barker: (laughing) Yes, I used to sing along to that one as I drove into work in the morning
Feare Cotton: Fancy giving us a rendition now?
Sue Barker: (laughing hysterically) Oh no, no, no no. Oh gosh no, not now, no, I couldn't possibly....
Sue continues to laugh like a heron having an asthma attack, while Fearne introduces Nizlopi
And this :-
Fearne and Sue do not realise Nizlopi have finished their song, and the camera catches them chatting unawares
Fearne Cotton: Really? All of them?
Sue Barker: Yes. All of them. From the Director General down to the teaboy. Took me the whole of the 1980s. How the hell else do you think I'm still on the telly even though I can't find one incisive thing to say?
Ok, so the second one wasn't true, but Sue Barker's telly reign is a mystery. Who on earth likes her anyway? Who are her fans? Or is she supported by some breakaway sect of Cliff Richard devotees who think they shouldn't have split because his music was never the same after? I'm pleased that the BBC thought outside the box and offered her the TOTP gig, though. She's so down with the kids. They think Sue Barker's well sick.
I must be the only person actually tuning back into TOTP and its largely because of the surprise of who the producers will ask to guest host next. Will it be..... Professor Robert Winston? Dan Cruikshank, perhaps? I'm starting to wonder whether they're filling the presenting slot by seeing who's free on the BBC rota, Peters saying to Cowey - "oh, Adam Woodyatt's not filming for a couple of hours. Shall we get him to do it?" And beneath Fearne's pretty superficies beats a black heart which no doubt we'll catch more glimpses of as the ratings continue to nosedive. TOTP is so bad, it's becoming quite good again. Check it out.
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