Sunday, June 13, 2010

Last Night's Big Brother Live Feed (12/6/10)

You've got to champion the return of the BB live feed. It's the only way for us hardcore viewers to reach conclusions about BB housemates independently of how they're edited on the highlights show. Obvious, yes, but important. Permit me to take you all the way back to 2001 and the construction of Dean as "boring"...although any live feed viewer knew he was the wryest, most informed and personable housemate of the lot...

While I may have been a little tiddly, I was able to glean some very useful insights from the live feed in the early hours of this morning. Par example:

1. The producers really wanted John James in the series and even flew him back out from Oz after the initial audition. Big Brother repeatedly told housemates (i.e. John James) to stop discussing the audition and selection procedure.

2. John James is monied.

3. John James wipes back to front when he takes a shit. He holds his balls out of the way.

4. John James talks A LOT.

5. John James has no libido. This was identified by Josie who emerged as a lynchpin of the house. John James doesn't even get morning glory. This was what aroused Josie's suspicions.

6. Judi James would have a field day talking about Josie's behaviour last night. Housemates crowded aroundand clamoured for her attention as she lay reclining on a bed. She shamelessly performed procedures on her face - plucking eyebrows, spot squeezing - in full view of other housemates. I'm pretty sure Judi James would interpret this as a sort of exposure and display of bodily 'honesty' which results in a gain of power for the individual. If she then starts grooming others we'll have identified the alpha female of the house.

8. Ife, Shabby and Caiomhe (sp?) are a clique. Josie, Corin, Rachael and Govan are a clique. Mario is hopelessly infatuated with Ben.

9. Ben accused Sunshine of having veruccas. Govan said that if one person in the house had veruccas then they'd all get them. Steve said, "I won't".

10. Steve's snoring could potentially alter the world's magnetic field.

There was more but I'm going to keep it to myself...just for now...

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