It's a fair cop guv. I was obviously horribly wrong about Sezer last time round. The man is clearly a short, greasy sexpest who looks like Limahl. I would have proudly announced the new name I christened him with on Saturday, if Grace hadn't beaten me to it on the live streaming last night and gone, "Ugh Sezer, you're so sleazy. You're Sleazer". He's a spiv, a chancer. He's Mickey Pearce from Only Fools and Horses. But that's as much as needs to be said for now, there'll be plenty more opportunities to slate him in in the future, I'm sure. What interests me for the moment is SHAHBAZ. OMFG! I have been waiting for a housemate like this all my life. He's like Craig but self-aware. He's Craig, and Science, and Kinga all rolled into one! I say Kinga because I was treated to a full-frontal from Shazbah last night and am now familiar with his genitals too. Apparently he whacked it out twice yesterday, and even threatened to get himself hard, go into the diary room and show Big Brother his "potential". The man is clearly a psychopath with frontal lobe impairment. I can't wait for him to come on the screen. He's going to make this show this year - I know he's not popular but DO NOT VOTE HIM OUT. All weekend the other housemates have been trying to work out what his problem is - when asked he simply says, "I came onto Big Brother to DIE". He causes conflict, he's completely self-centred, he's going to be behind this year's 'Fight Night' - he's BB gold! He hates Lisa too, and it's going to be fantastic to see what mud he flings at the bellicose little runt. Quite simply, hooray for Shabang!
In terms of a winner, I reckon Pete's the best bet at this early stage. Not only are his profane interjections uncannily accurate ( "Wankers!"..."Bunch of cunts!"), but he seems genuinely likeable. Not sure about his burgeoning alliance with Lisa though - she's the Narinder to his Brian Dowling. He needs to stay away from the desperate, talentless, attention-seeker and he'll get on just fine.
The only other housemate I want to mention at this stage is Mikey, who gave it all the "I'm the big I am" in his opening VT but has literally not opened his mouth since he went into the house. He'll be Imogen and Grace's bitch by the end of the week, mark my words, leaving Sleazer with Bonnie and Nikki - both of whom are so much more in his league. And someone one tell Sleazer to put his top on. The man's making me feel nauseous.
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