Last week's TV

This harks back to last week but has been preying on my mind, so I hope to get some relief by sharing. Last Tuesday's ''Bad Lad's Army' featured such heartwarming vignettes as the "recruits" examining their tackle for pubic lice, and a skidmark inspection charmingly performed by the Sergeant Major, who shone a torch into the pants round their ankles in order to show up any dubious markings. And people say 'Big Brother' is low-brow. This sort of telly humiliation is seemingly okay because the participants are all criminals and have been sent into the "army" for self-improvement. Yet when any of the 'bad lads' speak on-screen, they always have the same description appear beneath them - "Danny Walker, 26. Thief", "Andy Pearce, 21. Shoplifter", "Tyrone Tyrell, 23. Flasher and pirate". Have the programme makers not heard of Becker's labelling theory? The deviants are attempting to move on with their lives via a vigorous regime of knob-watching and full arse-wipage, and ITV continually reiterates the identities they're trying to leave behind. It did elicit a few giggles though. Cruel, unkarmically friendly giggles. Don't watch the show if you expect great feats of heroism. Do if you like watching spotty/fat/nefarious proles being forced to do one-armed pressups for insubordination.