Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Big Brother - Dave and "The Glory"

So much is happening in Big Brother, it's hard to keep up. The JJJ situation gets stupider and stupider with much of the relationship ups and downs revolving around the ambiguity of the terms 'love', 'feelings' and 'care'. Unfortunately Josie doesn't realise that she is little more than a maternal substitute for that massive, massive mummy's boy. Ben's character, meanwhile, continues to take on various strange facets. His conversation is so crafted and Machiavellian, I think he might actually be sociopathic. Andrew has become rather interesting though recently - making great strides towards ultimate victory when he managed to convince Rachel of his split personality disorder the other day, seemingly just for his own amusement.

But I'll return to these hms at a later date and focus upon Dave who I hope, I PRAY, gets evicted on Friday. I'm going to have to list my issues with Dave - they are too numerous snd I am too angry to prosify.
1. Like so many Christians, Dave is actually a very nasty person. In fact, he's hateful. He frequently intiates the bitching sessions between the boys (who, by the by, are FAR bitchier than the women in the house); he loves talking behind people's backs, or even pulling them down to their faces. I witnessed him on the live feed at the smoker's bench last night, telling Josie she was going to die because of her habit. "100% certain death. You're going to die," said Dave, who appeared to have missed a crucial biology lesson at school.
2. Dave is a creationist. He doesn't believe in dinosaurs. Seems like he missed a few science lessons at school.
3. Where is the drunken glory which Dave imported from America and parades on youtube thus?

That faithless fucking fraud. And yet, instances of getting "whacked on Jesus" have been few and far between in the house. Maybe he knows everyone will be able to see right through him, housemates and public alike. Seeing as this is Dave's schtick, it seems pretty bloody unusual that God's stopped pouring his holy spirit down his throat over the last few weeks.
4. If you can stomach any more chicanery, watch this awful video:

So Dave thinks it's funny to pretend to be a monk and heal people because his view of them, essentially, is that they're all gullible idiots. Is this what he's saying, or have I missed something? Love thy neighbour indeed, you prick.

I hate him.

Next to go: DAVE
Final five: Andrew, Ben, Mario, Corin, Josie.
To win: Andrew - but I'm starting to feel pretty ambivalent about the housemates as much as I love the series.

Friday, July 23, 2010

BB Identification Theory

I've been going off Josie in recent days, largely because of her "feelings" for John James. He is such a mammoth TWAT that this reflects really, really badly on her - and makes me reevaluate how I've been responding to her over the last few weeks.

I started to wonder whether one of the reasons I liked Josie was because she reminded me of a very funny, very cool west country girl I know (let's call her Pouisa) and the realisation that Pouisa would never give the time of day to a knobjockey like JJ brought me crashing back to earth that this wasn't actually her - that this was someone who I don't know, and who I've have been projecting feelings from my actual life upon.

In fact, BB11 is proving a strange one from the point of view of audience identification. When Shabby initially went in to the house she seemed to bear herself with the lightly sardonic humour and self-sufficient approach, and have a similar sort of prettiness to, an actress friend of mine - Pane. Indeed, Pane texted me to say how much she loved Shabby - the narcissistic trollop. Conversely, my boyfriend hates Keeley - because she has the same small stature, blond hair and shrewd face of his poisonous dwarf of an ex-girlfriend. I mean, it's really bad - he can hardly look at her and she's bringing up a lot of bad feeling for him.

But the most interesting instance of this in my whole history of watching the programme is with Mario, who bears more than a passing resemblance to a very good friend - let's call him Pian. It's not just me that's noticed this likeness - other friends have too, as has his own MUM. The dark good looks and gentle manner shared by Pian and Mario has had a very odd effect on my viewing experience. I imbue Mario with Pian's character to such an extent that I actually, sort of, love him a little bit. I make involuntary noises like, 'aaaahhhh!' when he speaks....I want to give him a hug...I enmesh the two's behaviour in my mind so that when Mario is kind to another housemate I think 'typical Pian'...If anyone is a friend of Mario's in the house, I wonder if they could also be mine...

So Mario in particular, and other housemates to a far lesser extent, afford me the opportunity to reflect on people in my own life as well as colour and shape my responses to the housemates. I don't think this theory has any application beyond the individual. Winners of Big Brother can't win because they remind the majority of the public of someone they know (they win generally because they're kind and non-argumentative or - if they have arguments - they pick them well). But it is interesting nevertheless. Well, I think so anyway....

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Caiomhe (sp?) walks (19 and 20/7/10)

Have been too busy having fun to blog recently, but finally caught up properly last night, only to find that the house has turned into boarding school c.1992. Josie has decided she DOES fancy John James (why? WHY?), and Caiomhe - clinging desperately on to the only two housemates still willing to talk to her - decided to fuck with them. Of course she did, because she's such a lovely, lovely person. So she flirted with John James. Then, after Josie mustered up the courage to confront her about the behaviour, pulled out every excuse that those girls do ("I didn't", "I was drunk", "I didn't know you liked him so much" - note the contradictions), then threatened to walk out of the house, thereby making Josie feel awful, and finally kept her promise a couple of hours ago and fucked off - at LAST.

There are so many reasons why I detest Caiomhe (sp?). She reckons herself, she lacks kindness and compassion towards others, but, most of all, she SMILES when she does awful things. So, over the last couple of days, she's been unable to keep the smirk off her face after continually revealing aspects of Josie's crush to John James. Josie and John James had a conversation last night about the fact that Caiomhe smiles after she says contentious stuff, with Josie concluding that the smile "isn't real". But, chillingly, it IS. She likes fucking about with people. She enjoys social conflict and she can't keep it off her physog.

So she won't be misssed at all, although her exit does somewhat curtail a potential dramatic situation should everyone have worked out her game. This BB has got to watch that it doesn't turn into one big touchy-feely massage-fest initiated by Dave and Mario. The Josie and John James situation (hereafter JJJ - I can't be arsed to type their names all the time) might provide dramatic focus - but I think it is only a matter of days before Josie realises that her brain was mysteriously tampered with and recognises him for the great galah he is.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Save and Replace and New Housemates

Quick word on the 'Save and Replace' task in which a nominated housemate wins a task and picks someone to take their eviction place. It seems to be causing some consternation but I think it's a sound intervention. The problem in previous years has been the same people getting nominated week after week who might be unpopular in the house but not necessarily outside- and we all remember how BB2's Paul thought his repeated escape from eviction was down to HIS popularity rather than his opponent's unpopularity. (Mind you, he was exceptionally thick). This is an excellent way for the nominations to be varied - and greatens the odds of one of the public's most hated coming into the firing line. It can also work the other way, granted, but still, it deals with boring repetitive nommos.

Three new housemates entered the compound on Friday, doing a silly little robotic walk because they were brought in via a SPACESHIP. Whoooh, COSMIC! (Really a box on a crane). BB are really going all out with the special effects this year. The table task where they were floated high above the house in week one was brilliant, as were the robots last week. Anyway, the new housemates are this thus:

Andrew - geekazoid nerdboy. Unfortunate face. Seems sweet. A bit young for the house I think - or maybe I'm just too old. Be interesting to see the effect he has on the Ben-Mario dynamic.

Rachel - bubbly scouse. Out soon hopefully.

Keeley - oh Keeley, Keeley, Keeley. Keeley has serious control issues which will bring her into direct conflict with the increasingly annoying Ife. When Keeley is asked how old she is, she says, "Guess?" When they guess younger she takes this as read, reveals her actual age and follows it up with, "But I don't look that old, do I?". Has the social grace of Naomi Campbell.

Next out: Caiomhe
Final five: Josie, John James, Mario, Andrew, Ben.
To win: Josie

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Big Brother (5 and 6/7/10)

Well those predicted fireworks didn't take long to detonate. The last two nights of Big Brother have been dominated by fights between Ife, Caiomhe and Shabby - culminating in Shabby's leaving the compound last night.

It's good that Shabby's gone. She was childish, petulant, tantrumy, controlling. However in all of the fights over the last couple of days she has come out a darn sight better than Caiomhe, who seems to genuinely enjoy upsetting people and not showing any remorse for it. Like the prototypical mean girl - exactly what Ife accused the two of being when they made her feel embarrassed about dancing - Caiomhe depends on her gang for her power, so it will be interesting to see what happens now Shabby has gone. Shabby in this whole situation, to her credit, did show remorse. She's certainly not a bully, just a bit twatty.

Two interesting insights from nommos last night - tension between Ife and Ben (Ben accused her of not having a sense of humour - I think he's probably right), and FINALLY someone has noticed that it's not just that John James has a go at people for no good reason, but that those people are ALWAYS WOMEN. Oh yeah. John James just loves getting angry at the fairer sex. But you'd never see him going off at Nathan, or even Ben. The coward. Good on Steve for pointing that one out, and I hope he does so to his face soon.

Next to go: Nathan (whom I dislike after his intimidating behaviour last night)
Final five: Josie, Mario, Ben, Corin, Steve
To win: Josie (she really is emerging as a pretty special housemate)

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Big Brother Third Eviction (2/7/10)

So bloody Dave escapes the chop this week AGAIN - a fact he no doubt attributes to God's providence - while Sunshee-ine hits the BB buffers. Good. She was an annoying child at the family barbeque who...hang on, she wasn't even that, she was just an annoying child.

This is good news overall because it evens things out between the two house factions - the smokers vs. the non-smokers. How much things have changed since the first BB when housemates could happily puff away in any area of the house they damn well chose. Oh those heady, fumy days. This is a current cultural issue made manifest. How strange that idea of in-house smoking seems now, a mere ten years down the line, and how frequently since 2006 has the spatial segregation of smokers been a factor in group formation - both inside and outside the house?

Talking of groups, respect to Ife for continuing her interrogation of the motives of Shabby. As I noticed a long time ago, Shabby is an individual who has a great investment in groups. She is nothing without a gang. Ife, meanwhile, is a freethinker who ENJOYS thinking and who increasingly distances herself from the social confines of Shabby's sorority. Expect fireworks in the future.