Bitty?

I'd just like to write a few lines about the very strange breasts going down in Big Brother. Or should that be up, given the ubiquity of implants in the house? When Grace was evicted on Friday, she also affected the ratio of real-fakies so that now 66.6% of the female housemates in BB are cosmetically enhanced. Not that I have a particular problem with fake boobs but it's just that these are an especially rum bunch. Lea is obviously the Queen of Tits with M-cups which she insists on covering up with only the teeny-tiniest triangles of fabric (or maybe they're not teeny-tiny, maybe they're as big as ground sheets - but her breasts are SO massive that she's skewed my sense of perspective). The thing I find particular disturbing about Lea's boobs is the way they escape from her half-arsed attempts to cover them. I'd find it very offputting if involved in a conversation with a bikinied Lea to ignore the bottoms of the beachballs protruding from underneath her nipple patches. Maybe it's because it's possible to gain an idea of just how big her boobs are when you can see the underside of them. I'm just astounded that the woman can stand upright.
I find something about Suzie completely obscene. I don't buy this upper-class act, and read her hugely inflated assets as the evidence. It is impossible to have a boob job over a D cup and to remain classy anyway, perhaps even to have a boob job at all. Extreme boob jobs betray a certain desperation to be viewed as sexually attractive which belie class in a female. Which brings me onto Nikki; the woman with a body of a child and the face of Old Man Steptoe. Having found topless pictures of Nikki on the Digital Spy forums, I can confirm that she has the strangest breasts in Christendom, and got some really bad advice from her surgeon when he said implants would work on her little boy body. Her fellas look like tennis balls inserted below the most superficial layer of the dermis, and yet are still invasive enough on her tiny frame to push her nipples skywards. It looks like she's trying to locate a radio station with 'em.

p.s. While I do not think it is right to view women as sexual objects, the multitude of fake breasts in the house is worthy of comment. I also wonder why the producers have started trying to develop a boob signature for each series of BB? Last year was like an episode of Benny Hill what with Lesley, Saskia and Makosi's mammoth melons, while this year is like watching any programme after 9pm on channel 5. Is someone at Endemol a tad fixated?